


My Itsy Bitsy Spider

by Riverthunder



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Baby Peter, But Don't Worry He'd Never Let Peter Get Hurt, Fluff, Hijinks, JARVIS Likes to Fuck With Tony, Just Lots of Fluff to Help Cope With the Movie, More tags to be added as they become relevant, Peter is Best Son, Tony Didn't Expect a Superbaby, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony is a good dad, dad tony, son peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-02 12:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14544810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverthunder/pseuds/Riverthunder
Summary: Tony Stark has longed to raise a child for a long time. The opportunity arises and he seizes his chance to raise the orphaned Peter Parker. Unfortunately for Tony, things don't always go as planned, and Iron Man will have to deal with a whole new set of challenges, none of which are made easier by the fact that his new son has superpowers. Rated T for Swearing.





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> AN: The newest Avengers movie broke me, so enjoy this new fic I'll be writing to cope with that ending. I'm writing this story and another, more angsty story, so keep an eye out for that. This isn't really going to follow an accurate Avengers timeline because 1. I have not seen all the older movies and I have a hard enough time piecing together how everything fits in the timeline to start with, 2. We're cutting out a lot of angst to enjoy Super Dad Tony taking care of Super Baby Peter. If you're here for accurate timelines, you probably won't like this. If you're here for Tony trying to keep his baby from crawling around on the ceiling and showing his kid off to the other Avengers, you're in the right place and hopefully this will entertain you.
> 
> This particular chapter is a bit on the short side. Hopefully you guys don't mind. Other chapters will likely be longer but I felt this was a good place to leave this chapter.
> 
> Another AN will be at the bottom to explain how Tony got Peter in case you are confused by that. Enjoy!

Tony grumbled to himself, trying to find a reason to focus on the meeting he was sitting in. It really was boring; half of these problems could be fixed if they would just bring them to him, rather than the whole board. He huffed in annoyance as board members bickered about wages for some of the lowest paid company members.

"Why don't we just up their pay?" Tony said loudly. "It wouldn't kill us."

"But-"

Just as one of the board members moved to criticize this suggestion, Tony's phone rang.

"Oop, I guess that's the end of the meeting!" Tony said loudly. "We're upping the minimum wage we pay. See you guys later." He strode out of the room, checking the number.

 _Wait_.

 _No_ ….

It couldn't be!

Tony fumbled to answer. "H-hello?"

"Is this Tony Stark?" A sweet female voice asked.

"Y-yes," Tony stuttered.

"Excellent. I have some good news for you. We have found you a baby."

Tony felt his heart leap.

"R-really?"

"Really. We would like you to meet him as soon as possible to see if you think he's a good match. When can you come see him?"

"N-now," Tony said. "I-I can come now, if that's okay."

"That's great, please do!" The woman said cheerfully. Tony could practically hear the smile on her voice.

"I will. Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Mr. Stark!" The woman said.

"Happy, I'm leaving," Tony said, pressing the End button on his cellphone and striding towards his office to get his jacket. "Don't call me for anything. I don't care if the whole building burns to the ground."

"Yes, Mr. Stark, but what-"

"Not important, Happy. Have a nice evening."

~(*)~

When Tony entered the hospital the woman had directed him to, he heard the sound of a baby crying. Tony's instinct was to find the child and comfort it, but he resisted the urge as a pretty redheaded woman approached him. "Hello, Tony."

"Hello, Charity." Tony looked towards the cries. "Is that-?"

"The baby? Yes. I wanted to talk to you about the circumstances surrounding the baby before we show him to you."

Tony nodded, taking a seat that was indicated to him by Charity. She sat beside him, folding her hands over her crossed knees.

"The baby's name is Peter. He is a survivor of a very bad accident near Osborn Industries. As far as we can tell, aside from some scrapes, bruises, and what the doctors and nurses believe is a spider bite, he is perfectly fine."

Tony nodded, paying rapt attention to Charity's words.

"Peter's parents, unfortunately, ended up being traitors to America. They have passed away. Peter was being cared for by his uncle and aunt, but his uncle was killed in the accident and his aunt did not survive her injuries."

Tony felt a rush of sympathy for the baby. "He has no other living family?"

"None that we can find," Charity replied. "As such, he is in need of a home, and I thought you might take a liking to him."

Tony nodded fervently. "I'd like to meet him, if at all possible."

"Of course," Charity nodded, standing. "Please follow me."

She lead him around a corner to an examination room. The cries were louder in front of the door.

"I should warn you," Charity said, glancing back to Tony, "he hasn't stopped crying since he was brought in."

Tony nodded. "I understand. He's probably confused. He's probably never had so many injuries at once. Even if they're minor, they probably hurt."

Charity smiled at Tony. It was this insight that she liked about Tony; the way he acknowledged that to a baby, minor inconveniences for adults were terrible tragedies.

She opened the door.

A woman with long, black hair was holding a small boy in a red onesie. His hair was wavy and brown, reaching past his ears. He wailed loudly, fat tears rolling down his plump cheeks. He had a bruise under one eye and a few scrapes on his face.

"Hey," Tony said in a gentle voice. "Hi, Tiger. How are you, little buddy?"

The baby sniffled and shifted his body to look Tony in the eyes.

"Hi," Tony said, smiling and waving. "What a handsome little boy you are."

"Would you like to hold him?" The woman holding Peter asked.

Tony nodded, holding his arms out for Peter. The baby hiccuped a bit as the woman passed him to Tony. Peter looked around a bit nervously at first, breathing in quick, panting gasps while he searched the room with his eyes.

"Hey, kiddo," Tony said gently, rubbing Peter's back and bouncing him gently. "How are you?"

Peter's eyes snapped back to Tony's. He stared at him. One fist went to his mouth, and he slobbered on his fingers as he stared at Tony. He seemed not to be daring to blink, as if he was afraid that Tony might vanish or turn into a beast if he did so.

"Aren't you a handsome boy," Tony said, ruffling his hair gently.

Peter took his hand out of his mouth and grabbed Tony's nose with it.

"Silly boy," Tony teased, gently pulling the tiny hand off his nose and letting it seize his fingers instead. "What a smart boy you are. You're going to be very bright."

Peter laughed and used his other hand to grab at Tony's short mustache.

"Strong, too," Tony noted, nodding.

Peter yawned, and Tony smiled as he noticed the way the baby's eyelids were fluttering with the attempt to stay open.

"Shhh, Peter," Tony crooned, rocking the baby gently. Peter sighed and rested his head on Tony's shoulder, sticking one of his thumbs in his mouth and sucking on it. He gave a drowsy sigh, but as Tony rubbed his back gently, he eventually drifted off entirely.

Tony smiled fondly at the baby.

Charity looked at him. "What do you think?"

"He's perfect," Tony replied firmly, still rubbing the baby's back. "What do I need to do to adopt him?"

~(*)~

A few days later, the adoption had been finalized. Tony couldn't stop smiling as he carried Peter in his arms into the house.

"Good evening, sir," JARVIS said.

"Good evening, JARVIS."

"Is this young Peter?"

"It is."

Peter looked around curiously, trying to find the source of JARVIS's voice. "Ah! Ah!" He squealed to Tony, grasping at the air with one fist and clinging to Tony's shirt with the other.

"It's okay, Peter," Tony cooed gently. "That's just JARVIS. He won't hurt you."

Peter seemed ready to argue as best he could as a baby, but his next cry was cut off by his yawn.

Tony beamed and hugged him a bit more tightly. "Come on, someone needs to get some sleep."

"Shall I prepare a bottle for young Peter, sir?"

"Please," Tony agreed. "I'll change him and get him into some pajamas."

Changing Peter and putting him in pajamas was an unusually easy task; he was too tired to kick, squirm, and protest as Tony took care of him. At last the baby was ready for bed. Tony offered to let the baby have some of his bottle, and Peter seized it in his small hands, suckling and trying to force his eyes to stay open and fixed on Tony. The billionaire laughed quietly, amused by his sweet son.

 _Son_.

He had a son.

Tony didn't think anything could make him happier.

Peter pushed his bottle away and yawned, reaching out and placing his little hand on Tony's chest, feeling his arc reactor instead of his shirt.

Peter looked curiously at his hand, then at Tony, as if asking for confirmation that he was feeling something that was not skin or cloth.

Tony smiled. "Not to worry, little one," he said quietly. "I'll always protect you. I promise. As long as I have this," he gently touched the arc reactor, covering Peter's small hand with his larger one, "you'll always be safe."

Peter yawned again.

"Time for bed, my little one," Tony said, carrying his son to his crib and laying him gently down in it. "Sleep well, Peter. Daddy loves you."

Peter sighed, reached for Tony, and then slowly drifted off, his little hand falling to his side.

"Keep an eye on him, JARVIS," Tony said softly, heading for the door. "Tell me if anything goes wrong or if he needs me."

"Of course, sir."

~(*)~

"Sir?"

Tony looked up from his blueprints sharply. "What is it, JARVIS? Is Peter hurt?"

"No, sir."

Tony sighed with relief. "Then what? Hungry?"

"Sir, I am not sure I can explain verbally," JARVIS replied. "I believe you need to see it for yourself."

Tony was confused. "Why?" He asked suspiciously.

"Sir, please."

"Fine," Tony sighed, rolling up his blueprints and heading back to Peter's room. He opened the door.

Tony had to bite back a scream of horror. _Peter was climbing on the fucking ceiling_.

"Peter!" Tony lunged forward, gently but firmly seizing his son. "What in the world," Tony muttered, hugging the baby close, "were you doing?"

Peter giggled in response.

"Sir," JARVIS said, "I do not believe that is a natural human ability."

" _No, it's not_ ," Tony agreed.

"Perhaps we could run a blood test and see if that tells us anything," JARVIS suggested.

"Very well."

Tony carried Peter down to his lab, directing JARVIS to take a small sample of Peter's blood while Tony distracted his son. Luckily, it worked. Peter seemed not to notice the prick of the needle, and appeared to be mildly surprised at the bandaid Tony placed on his arm where the needle had stuck him.

Tony engaged Peter in a game of peekaboo while JARVIS examined the results.

"Sir, it appears your son was bitten by a radioactive spider."

Tony looked up. "Are you fucking serious?" He demanded.

"Quite, sir. Here."

JARVIS printed a copy of the results for Tony. He read them over five or six times before looking at Peter with wonder in his eyes. "Do...do you have _powers_?" He asked his son.

Of course, Peter did not answer; he was too busy staring at his own hand in amazement to notice his father marveling at him.

Tony looked down at the paper again. "Looks like I'll need to do more baby proofing than I thought."


	2. 02

When Pepper entered Tony’s flat, he was awake, as usual. But, unlike usual, he was not working on some new gadget. Instead, he was sitting on a blanket with a small baby who was clinging to a teddy bear with one arm and sucking on the fingers of his other hand, and offering him blocks.  
“Okay, Peter, where does this one go?” Tony asked in a patient voice.  
The baby stared at the cylindrical block, opening his mouth slowly. He took his fingers from his mouth and took the block in his hand, staring at it and then at the small table with holes of different shapes.  
“What do you think?” Tony asked, as if this were a puzzling question.  
Peter tried forcing the block in the triangular hole, and made an annoyed squalling noise when it didn’t work.  
“Be patient, Peter,” Tony urged him gently. “Where else might it go?”  
Peter tried the circular hole this time. He squealed excitedly when the block went into the hole easily.  
“You’re so smart, Peter!” Tony beamed. “Good job!” He lifted the baby into his arms, gently tossing him in the air while he giggled madly.  
“Tony?”  
“Hmm?” Tony paused, hugging the baby close as he looked up at Pepper. “Oh. Hi.”  
“Who’s this?” Pepper asked, looking at the baby. The baby was watching her too, but quickly lost interest and turned to smack at Tony’s face, demanding his attention.  
“Yes, I know,” Tony said in a patient voice. “This is Peter,” he added to Pepper, kissing Peter’s cheek, making him squeal.  
“I don’t know if he likes your mustache,” Pepper told him.  
“What? Lies.” Tony blew a raspberry on Peter’s other cheek. The boy squealed again, then giggled madly. “See? He likes it. It just tickles him.”  
“So, you finally got a baby.”  
“Sure did!” Tony beamed with pride. “Isn’t he perfect? Little Peter Parker Stark.”  
“Shouldn’t he be sleeping?”  
“He was sleeping,” Tony replied defensively. “He just woke up and wouldn’t go back to bed.” He set Peter back on the blanket so he could play with his toys.  
Pepper shook her head, sighing. “You really are a bad influence. Your kid is going to have a terrible sleep schedule.”  
Tony bent down and covered Peter’s ears, looking indignant. “Don’t listen to that mean Pepper, Peter.”  
“Does Happy know about this?” Pepper asked, ignoring Tony’s words to Peter.  
“Did _you_ know about this?” Tony asked.  
“I guessed.”  
“Then he probably did, too.”  
“Why didn’t you just say you were planning to adopt a baby?” Pepper asked, turning to Tony with curiosity glimmering in her eyes.  
“Too many factors.” Tony shrugged. “Something could have gone wrong. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I actually had a kid.”  
“When _did_ you get him?”  
Pepper was now watching as Peter snuggled with his teddy bear, cooing softly at it.  
“The adoption was finalized yesterday afternoon.” Tony smiled fondly at Peter. “He’s already been so great. I love having him here.”  
“You really didn’t need another reason to have a terrible sleep schedule.” Pepper shook her head and turning away. “You never get enough as it is.”  
Tony looked at her, immediately flaring up with indignation. “Excuse you. I will not have you speaking in such a tone around my baby.”  
Pepper turned on her heel to retort, but froze instead, staring at something behind Tony.  
“Tony?”  
“What?”  
“How old did you say Peter is?”  
“About five months. Why?” Tony turned to Peter again. “Peter! Goddammit, kid!”  
Peter looked up from where he was, now halfway across the room and trying to pull himself onto the glass table. “Baah?”  
“Don’t scare me like that,” Tony said, moving to scoop him up. “God, kid. At least you weren’t on the ceiling again.  
“Ceiling?” Pepper demanded sharply. “ _Again_?”  
“That wasn’t my fault,” Tony told her, another indignant tone entering his voice. “He climbed out of his crib after I settled him down for the night and somehow got on the fucking ceiling. He was just crawling around up there enjoying life. Kid nearly gave me a heart attack.” Tony eyed Peter with false disapproval. “Looks like he was trying to do it again.” Tony carried Peter to his high chair and settled him in it.  
“Stay,” he told the baby firmly, walking to the cupboard. “Hmm… how about peaches for breakfast, kiddo?”  
Peter giggled, clapping his hands in approval.  
“Peaches it is!” Tony declared in a dramatic voice. Peter beamed at him, still laughing. Pepper had to admit Tony did seem to have a way with the child.  
“Here comes the leaf!” Tony said, making the spoon drift down toward Peter like a falling leaf, who giggled.  
“What, no Iron Man jokes?” Pepper asked.  
Tony turned to her, his expression exasperated. “That, my dear Pepper, would be considered cannibalism, and I am not about to encourage that behavior in my son.”  
Pepper snorted as Tony turned back to Peter and offered him the spoonful of peach baby food.  
“Mr. Stark!” called a voice.  
“Kitchen, Happy,” Tony replied, gently cleaning some peaches off Peter’s cheeks. “Look! The leaf is back!”  
“The what?” Happy paused at the entrance to the kitchen holding a mountain of paperwork, looking somewhere between frazzled, confused, and concerned.  
“He’s talking to his new baby, Happy. Don’t worry.” Pepper told him.  
“Ah, baby, right, right,” Happy said absently, beginning to thumb through the various papers he was carrying before looking up. What Pepper had said had just registered with his brain. “Baby?”  
“There’s another leaf! It must be fall!” Tony said in a sing song voice, offering Peter a third spoonful of baby food. Peter opened his mouth wide, staring into Tony’s eyes with rapt attention.  
“That’s a baby,” Happy said, staring at Peter.  
“You’re right,” Pepper agreed. “That _is_ a baby.”  
“But- when did-”  
“Yesterday afternoon,” Tony said in a gentle coo. “Does Peter want some more?”  
Peter squealed in affirmation.  
“What a big boy! Someone is going to grow into a big strong spider, yes he is.”  
“He’s going to _what_?” Pepper and Happy said together sharply.  
“He crawls on ceilings and walls, JARVIS says it’s because of the radioactive spider. Ergo, spider baby.”  
“Back up for a minute. Radioactive spider?” Pepper demanded.  
“Crawling on ceilings and walls?” Happy asked weakly, staring at Peter. It was an expression that clearly said Happy did not, under any circumstances, want to be asked to watch Peter for any period of time, extended or no.  
“That’s right,” Tony cooed, nuzzling Peter’s nose with his own before offering him another spoonful of baby food. “He’s my sweet little super baby, aren’t you? Aren’t you, my precious little angel?”  
“Nya,” Peter replied, opening his mouth so Tony could give him his next spoonful of baby food.  
Tony beamed. “I love this baby.”  
“Tony!” Pepper said, snapping her fingers in front of Tony’s face. “Tony. Back up. _Radioactive spider_?”  
Tony looked up. “Yes.”  
“Care to elaborate?”  
“No.” Tony turned back to the jar of baby food.  
“ _No_?” Pepper repeated in disbelief.  
“It’s confidential information about Peter and I’m not sharing it. No.”  
Pepper and Happy glanced at each other, eyebrows raised.  
“The important thing is my baby boy is a sweet, lovely little angel who just so happens to have amazing powers. My sweetheart.”  
Peter reached out and patted at Tony’s face with his small hand. Tony’s expression went from soft to completely melted. “Neee.” Peter said, before giggling.  
“I know,” Tony said, nodding with understanding.  
“Abbaa!”  
“Do tell.”  
“Sakkasceee!”  
“Really!”  
Happy looked to Pepper with a miserable expression on his face. She just shook her head and held her hands out. “Here, Happy. Let me see those papers.”  
~(*)~  
Tony kept a close eye on Peter, watching as he walked across the floor by himself. Tony’s arms were held out to catch his son in case he fell, but the boy was doing a very good job by himself.  
“Come here, Peter,” Tony said encouragingly. “Come on, come to Daddy.”  
“Ah!” Peter reached for Tony, padding closer to him, and finally collapsing into Tony’s arms as he reached him. Peter made a little huffing noise, as if he had knocked the breath out of his tiny lungs with the fall into Tony’s chest.  
“So smart,” Tony praised him, hugging him close and offering him the teddy bear he was now reaching for. “What a smart, smart boy you are, Peter.”  
Tony lifted Peter into his arms, moving to carry him towards his lab. He pulled up a hologram report, which momentarily distracted Peter from his teddy. He stared at the hologram, completely engrossed.  
“Yes,” Tony said, as if Peter could really read the report, “it’s all about you.”  
He flicked through a few things, finally looking down at Peter. “I wonder. Did you crawl on walls first or walk first? You seem oddly balanced for someone your age. That’s probably a byproduct of your powers. I just wish I knew more.” Tony sighed. “I really hope I don’t do something wrong.”  
Tony looked down at Peter. He’d lost interest in his hologram report and was giggling as he moved his teddy bear’s arms around, almost like it was a puppet. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything, Peter, but I don’t know how I’m going to do this. What if you have _more_ powers than crawling on ceilings and walls and amazing balance? What if you have some insane weakness I don’t know about and I hurt you?”  
Voicing the fear out loud seemed to make it more real. Tony hugged Peter tightly close. “I just want to protect you,” he whispered into Peter’s mop of thick, wavy brown hair. “I don’t want you hurt because of me.”  
Peter squalled in annoyance; it was hard to play with your teddy bear when your dad wanted to cuddle.  
Tony smiled, setting the child into a playpen. “You behave,” he said. He’d dug out the playpen cover he’d gotten; originally he’d thought it would serve to give Peter shade if Tony set up the playpen outside for some reason, but now it served a more important purpose: keeping Peter _in_ the playpen where it was safe.  
He turned back to his holograms once the cover was securely over the playpen. “JARVIS,” he began.  
“Keep an eye on the young Peter?” The AI asked.  
Tony smiled to himself. “Right. Keep an eye on the young Peter.”  
~(*)~  
“I hope that blasted crib cover gets here soon,” Tony yawned, rocking Peter, who yawned too, but kept tapping at the arc reactor anyway. Every time Tony thought he might be about to drift off, he tapped at it again.  
Oh well. Not like he would be able to sleep anyway. Not until he could be sure Peter couldn’t get out at night and hurt himself. He had to be _sure_.  
So, for now, sleep was off the table.  
Ah, well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t had sleepless nights like this before. Granted, they weren’t always by choice, but fear was an excellent motivator to keep one awake, and the thought of Peter falling off the ceiling and getting hurt before Tony could save him was enough to make him feel like he was on the urge of vomiting.  
He _could_ just have Peter sleep in the playpen for a few nights, but that did not sound acceptable to Tony in any capacity. He had standards for his son, goddammit.  
Peter yawned and snuggled closer to Tony, his little hand slipping away from the arc reactor. Tony smiled. “That’s my boy,” he murmured, rubbing Peter’s back. “That’s my boy.”  
~(*)~  
The arrival of the new baby supplies was, quite frankly, a relief to Tony. He was ready for a nice nap.  
He was just fixing the crib cover over the crib, where Peter was dozing, when there was a loud knock on the door.  
Peter woke up and promptly began to cry. Tony didn’t blame him; the part of him screaming for sleep wanted to lay down on the ground next to his crib and join him in his sobbing.  
Unfortunately, Tony was an ‘adult’, and therefore, had ‘responsibilities’. What a load of bullshit.  
“I never get any respect,” Tony grumbled, freeing Peter from the crib and carrying him to the door. “It’s always something. As soon as I get some me time, someone has to come along and ruin it. Take notes,” he added, looking down at Peter, “only _you_ get to interrupt me when I want to sleep without a rant like this. I might kill whoever is behind that door if they kept me up for a stupid enough reason.”  
Tony reached the door and opened it.  
Nick Fury stood on the other side.  
“Oh, not you,” Tony said, his voice coming out in an almost pathetic whine. “Can’t this wait?”  
Fury ignored him, entering the room and turning to Tony with a dramatic sweeping motion of his long coat. “Tony Stark. I’ve come to recruit you for a mission.”  
“I just want to sleep, Fury. Postpone the mission. Tell the bad guy I’ll be ready to fight him on Saturday.”  
Fury’s expression didn’t change. “This is serious, Stark.”  
Pepper appeared in the doorway then.  
“Excuse me!” Tony protested. “This was our nap time!” He pointed to Peter, who was glowering around the room from his place in Tony’s arms.  
“Nick!” Pepper greeted the man, smiling. “How are things? Happy told me you were here, and I suspected this one wouldn’t cooperate.”  
She jerked her thumb at Tony.  
“Hey!” Tony protested. “His name is Agent, not Nick.”  
Pepper gave him a withering look. “This again? You seem to know a lot of Agents, Tony.”  
“And it’s a stupid name,” Tony said, in a tone like he was agreeing with Pepper.  
“This,” said Fury, ignoring Tony’s protests, “is about the Avengers Initiative.”  
“So not me,” Tony said loudly. “Remember, I don’t play nice with others. I’m volatile. I only care about my own self interest. Glad we got that squared away. Bye bye.” He gestured for Fury and Pepper to leave through the door. “Wave bye bye, Peter.”  
“This about more than personality profiles,” Fury growled. “This is about something much, much bigger.” He offered Tony a large, oversized computer.  
“I’m holding a baby,” Tony said indignantly.  
“I can take him,” Pepper offered.  
“You will not, he’s mine and he’s staying here.” Tony hugged Peter tighter. “Besides, I don’t have a babysitter capable of handling him.”  
Pepper glared at him.  
“I’m sorry, did you learn to fly recently and not tell me?” Tony asked. “Can you get him off the ceiling?”  
Pepper’s glare vanished, replaced by a look of reluctant agreement.  
“I thought so.”  
“Stark.”  
Fury was watching him intently.  
“This mission is important to the survival of the planet.” He paused, turning his gaze to Peter for the first time. “That includes your son.”  
Tony glanced down at Peter.  
“....I still need a babysitter.”  
“I can handle that,” Fury said, “if you agree to this.” He tapped the computer.  
Tony looked at him suspiciously. “Trial period,” he said at last. “I look this over while you watch him.” He pointed to Peter. “If you screw up I don’t join.”  
“Fair,” Fury agreed, holding his hands out for Peter. Tony reluctantly handed him over, taking the computer instead and carrying it to his desk while Pepper smirked at his back.  
~(*)~  
Only a couple of hours later, Tony had finished his homework, with some extra additions to make sure he understood exactly what the stakes were.  
Fury was sitting on the floor with Peter, holding out blocks to him so he could stack them haphazardly. As Tony reached them the structure collapsed and Peter burst into a fit of delighted giggles.  
“So?” Fury asked, looking up.  
Tony glanced down at Peter, still unsure. “He climbs on walls. And ceilings.”  
“I can handle walls and ceilings.”  
Tony narrowed his eyes.  
“I’ll make you a deal. No high ceilinged rooms.”  
Tony nodded slowly.  
“...Fine,” he agreed at last. “I’m in.”  
“Better go pack,” Fury told him.  
Tony picked Peter up in his arms and hugged him close. “Come on, kiddo,” he said, trying not to let on how absolutely sick with worry he felt. “Let’s go get your teddy bear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Just to be clear, again, I'm changing the timeline. This Avengers battle is the fight with Loki. There will be other battles sprinkled in this fic as Peter ages. Also, I should rephrase- this fic will have very minor angst. But nothing big. I am not killing anyone off, I promise. It's gonna be very small stuff for the sake of the cute story having more to it than just a teddy bear and Tony's arc reactor being a nightlight. I won't give examples; those would spoil future chapters, I'm afraid. But imagine a drawn out Avengers timeline; maybe you can guess one or two things.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and please leave a review/comment if you enjoyed it! I'd certainly appreciate it!
> 
> ~Chara


	3. 03

“How’s it coming, JARVIS?”  
“Almost in, sir.”  
There was a pause as Tony shot through the inky blackness of the night sky, then he heard a woman’s voice over the speakers in his helmet.  
“This guy’s all over the place.”  
As Tony neared his target, he grinned to himself. “Agent Romanov.”  
His music choice- _Shoot to Thrill_ by AC/DC- flooded the speakers.  
“Did you miss me?”  
He saw Loki and Captain America look up at him, and he took a shot at the Asgardian, hitting him squarely in the chest and knocking him back a few feet. Tony landed hard, but impressively, and quickly pointed every gun the suit had at Loki.  
“Make your move, Reindeer Games,” he growled coldly.  
Slowly, Loki’s armor faded away and he held his hands up in surrender.  
“Good move,” Tony praised him, putting his weapons away.  
“Mr. Stark,” said Captain America in a formal voice.  
Tony took a moment to be sure his voice was as cool as possible. “Captain.”  
~(*)~  
Once Loki had been safely bundled into the Quinjet, Tony took a moment to check the baby monitor in his room on the helicarrier. He could hear Peter’s soft breaths as he slept, and when he pulled up a video, saw that Fury had placed the crib cover over Peter’s crib, and he appeared to be sleeping soundly.  
Relieved that his son was safe, and for now the threat to his life didn’t seem able to do much damage, Tony removed the helmet.  
He glanced over at Rogers, inspecting him. How strange that his father’s true pride and joy was standing before him. Rogers wasn’t even Howard’s blood, and he’d still been his favorite son. Tony shook his head slightly at the thought.  
One thing was for certain: none of his experiments would ever take Peter’s place. Nothing would, but especially not some serum-made superpatriot.  
Thunder rumbled across the sky.  
Nick Fury’s voice crackled across the Quinjet’s speakers. “Said anything?”  
“Not a word,” Romanov told him.  
“Just get him here. We’re running low on time.”  
Fury’s crackling voice disappeared.  
“I don’t like it,” Steve announced.  
“What?” Tony asked. “Rock of Ages giving up so easily?” He shot Loki a disdainful look. If it wasn’t for that pretty boy Asgardian, he could be at home now, catching up on his sleep or playing with Peter.  
“I don’t remember it ever being that easy. This guy packs a wallop.”  
Tony resisted the urge to tease the word choice. “Still, you _are_ pretty spry for an older fellow,” he told Steve in a falsely friendly voice. “What’s your thing? Pilates?”  
“What?” Steve asked, looking lost.  
Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes with difficulty. “It’s like calisthenics. You might have missed a few things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle.” Tony smirked, trying to hide his amusement. If Rogers was to be Howard’s favored son, so be it. Tony could accept that. Now he was here, though, and Tony had hoped to never have to look him in the eyes in person. He’d hated Rogers since he’d been a child. If he had to associate with him, he didn’t have to be nice.  
Rogers looked at Tony, his expression cold. “Fury didn’t tell me he was calling you in.”  
“Yeah, there’s a lot of things Fury doesn’t tell you,” Tony replied.  
A flash of lightning lit up the sky around them and thunder roared. The Quinjet shook.  
Loki looked around, a slightly panicked expression on his face.  
“What’s the matter?” asked Rogers. “Scared of a little lightning?”  
“I’m not overly fond of what follows,” Loki replied. Tony could hear a hint of nerves in his voice.  
Something landed on the Quinjet, and it shook again. Tony glanced to the ceiling, then seized his helmet and replaced it over his face.  
The video of Peter sleeping in his crib was still playing. The baby whimpered in his sleep.  
Reluctantly, Tony dismissed the video and approached the Quinjet ramp button. He needed to see what was on the craft.  
Something landed on the ramp as Tony approached it; a man, with long blond hair, a red cape, and a hammer in his hand. Tony raised a hand, intending to blast the man away, but he swung the hammer into Tony’s chest and knocked him back across the Quinjet. In the suit, Tony gasped as the wind was knocked out of him.  
The blond seized Loki by his neck, steering him to the edge of the ramp, and held the hammer out. The two shot off into the cloudy night.  
Tony got to his feet, approaching the ramp again. “Now there’s that guy.”  
“Another Asgardian?” Natasha asked from where she sat piloting the aircraft.  
“Think the guy’s a friendly?” Rogers asked Tony.  
“Doesn’t matter,” Tony replied. He recognized Thor from his homework, but this decision put Peter at risk, so Tony didn’t care if Thor thought himself a protector of “Midgard”, as he called it. “If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract’s lost.” And if the Tesseract was lost, Earth- and more importantly, Peter- was in danger. Tony prepared to leap off the ramp and follow Thor and Loki into the darkness.  
“Stark! We need a plan of attack!” Rogers roared at him.  
“I have a plan,” Tony snapped back. “ _Attack_.”  
He activated his boosters and disappeared into the cloud cover.  
“JARVIS, how’s Peter?”  
“The young Peter is having a restless evening. Mr. Fury has checked on him three times since putting him down for the night.”  
Tony couldn’t help the rush of anger. If Thor hadn’t taken Loki, he’d be closer to getting back to his son.  
He also couldn’t help the feeling of surprise that flooded him as he searched the black night for the Asgardians. He hadn’t had Peter for very long, but he was already extremely protective of the small child. He wanted to hold his son in his arms and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Peter was safe, and he wanted to to be close by, ready to protect him from any possible threat.  
Granted, Loki was the biggest threat to Peter’s safety, but he still wished he was with Peter instead of scanning the treeline for the God of Mischief.  
“Sir, I have located the Asgardians,” JARVIS’s voice announced as they reached a rocky outcropping on a mountainside.  
“I see them,” Tony growled back, launching himself with full force at Thor, knocking him off the side of the rocky mountain ledge he stood on.  
Tony landed neatly, but Thor skidded a few extra feet. He stood, glaring at Tony. His expression was dark. Tony allowed his helmet to open so Thor could see his face.  
“Do not touch me again!” Thor growled.  
“Then don’t take my stuff,” Tony snapped back.  
“You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”  
Thor’s tone was serious, but Tony couldn’t resist the temptation to make fun of him.  
“Shakespeare in the park?” he asked innocently, looking around, before holding his arms out theatrically and taking a step forward, gesturing to Thor’s ensemble. “Doth Mother know you weareth her drapes?”  
“This is beyond you, metal man,” Thor snarled. “Loki will face Asgardian justice.”  
“He gives up the Cube, he’s all yours,” Tony replied contemptuously. He really wished he would; Tony had no desire to deal with Loki any more than was absolutely necessary. “Until then, stay out of the way.” He turned to walk away. “Tourist.”  
He heard Thor shout and turned, but too late- the hammer slammed into his chest and Tony was thrown back, knocking down trees as the force of the hammer propelled him backwards.  
He landed hard, and sat up, glaring at Thor. “ _Okay_.”  
Thor raised his hand and the hammer flew back to him. He began to swing it, preparing to speed off somewhere. Tony got to his knees, then shot a blast from a hand booster at Thor, knocking the lightning god back into a tree trunk. Tony propelled himself forward and kicked Thor, smashing him through the trunk. The hammer had been knocked aside, but Thor merely reached out to it and it flew to his hand. He raised the thing to the skies, and immediately the clouds lit up with electricity, which shot down to the hammer in the god’s hand.  
Thor pointed the hammer at Tony, blasting the lightning bolts at him. Tony had to work to keep his footing at the force of the blast, and blinked at the sudden extreme brightness in the suit.  
“Power at four hundred percent capacity,” JARVIS’s voice announced.  
That could be useful.  
“How about that?” Tony said to himself, before shooting two blasts at the thunder god with his hand boosters.  
That seemed to be the last straw for both of them. They threw themselves at each other and flew off into the night. They smashed into a mountain and then right back down into the forest below, felling trees left, right and center. Any unlucky enough to be in either of their paths was quickly knocked down. Tony moved to punch Thor, and the god seized and began to try and crush each of Tony’s hand boosters as he threw them at him. A bit alarmed, Tony quickly charged a blast of energy and shot it at his opponent, making Thor recoil. While he was distracted, Tony quickly headbutted him. This was not his best move.  
Thor stared at Tony in shock before headbutting him back, sending him flying. Tony did an awkward somersault on the ground before landing in a crouching position, ready to launch himself at Thor again.  
Vaguely, he registered the first whimpering cries that signaled Peter was waking up from his previously deep sleep. Somehow, that just made Tony angrier. Fury would have to comfort his son while he was busy leveling a forest with some arrogant Asgardian for stealing his prisoner.  
He launched himself at Thor and seized him by the shoulders, throwing him hard into a sizable felled tree trunk. The god of thunder retaliated by running to Tony, ducking his punch, and hitting him squarely in the back a few times. He grabbed Tony by the shoulders, swinging him into the air above his head, and slamming him down hard on the earth.  
For a moment Tony was both winded and dazed. Then he saw Thor reach out. He knew what that meant. As the god tried to swing his hammer down on Tony’s chest, he propelled himself away, leaving Thor to beat dirt rather than metal. The god slipped and fell, and Tony turned gracefully in the air to aim another punch at Thor’s head.  
“Hey!” A voice yelled.  
An all too familiar shield sliced through the air, ricocheting off Thor and then Tony.  
They looked up. Rogers stood above them on a broken tree.  
“That’s enough.”  
Tony couldn’t help the anger he felt. This prick really had the audacity to act as if he was in charge? God, Tony hated him.  
Rogers leapt down from his perch and landed on the ground, turning to Thor. “Now, I don’t know what you plan on doing here,” he began.  
“I’ve come here to put an end to Loki’s schemes!” Thor growled back.  
“Then prove it,” Rogers said, and Tony could sense the danger coming. “Put that hammer down.”  
“Uh, yeah, no,” Tony said, turning to Rogers. “Bad call. He loves his ha-”  
He was cut off as Thor swung the hammer into his chest and he was thrown backward several feet.  
Tony grunted as he bounced along the earth.  
“You want me to put the hammer down?!” Thor roared. Tony looked up to see him leap into the air. Lightning illuminated the scene, flying to Thor’s weapon. Rogers raised his shield, and Thor’s hammer made contact.  
The noise was like a great bell chime, and light blossomed from the point where hammer and shield had connected. Tony was knocked back down, and Thor and Rogers were sent flying.  
Once the light had gone, the sound had faded, and the dust had cleared, Tony slowly sat up, shifting and pushing away debris.  
He groaned as he got to his feet.  
_I need a vacation._  
Rogers and Thor got to their feet too. The trio eyed each other.  
“Are we done here?” Rogers asked, as Thor looked around the clearing and Tony panted for breath.  
~(*)~  
Being back at Peter’s side was a massive relief for Tony. It was like not realizing he’d been panicking until he no longer was. Now his son (groggy and a bit cranky) was back in his arms, and all was well.  
He rocked Peter gently, soothing his son back into sleep. Yes, it had been selfish to pick him up and wake him, but he’d been unable to help himself. He just wanted to hold his son in his arms and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was safe.  
Peter huffed irritably in Peter’s arms, screwing up his face in an adorable scowl.  
“We’re going to have to get going, squirt,” Tony told Peter conversationally.  
A huff.  
“Besides, everyone is gonna find out about you eventually.”  
Peter made a noise like he was trying to blow a raspberry.  
“I’m with you,” Tony said firmly.  
“But, unfortunately….I have to be the adult.” He sighed. “Do me a favor and don’t grow up, kiddo. No matter what anyone else tells you, take it from your dad: it’s not worth it.”  
He moved to open the door and Peter began to whimper, reaching to the side. He looked over, and caught sight of Peter’s teddy bear sitting on the bedside table.  
“Oh, you just want Teddy,” Tony said, looking at the bear. He picked it up and put it on Peter’s chest. He cooed appreciatively and snuggled with the teddy bear in his arms.  
As he walked out, he caught sight of Coulson in the hallway.  
“Ah, Agent,” he said, nodding to him. “How’s that cellist?”  
“She’s doing well,” Coulson said, smiling. “How’s the baby?”  
“Annoyed that I woke him up,” Tony replied.  
Peter made a grumbling noise, as if to affirm this.  
“A cutie,” Coulson said approvingly.  
“The cutest,” Tony corrected. “When was the last time you saw the cellist?”  
“Not for a while. I haven’t had much time to spend on a trip to Portland.”  
“Well, we need to fix that,” Tony said.  
“Iridium,” Tony heard Bruce say as they approached the control room. “What did they need the iridium for?”  
“It’s a stabilizing agent,” Tony supplied. “Look,” he added to Coulson, gently repositioning Peter in his arms. “I’m just saying, pick a weekend, I’ll fly you to Portland. Keep love alive.”  
Coulson nodded and walked off as Tony approached Thor. Tony pretended not to see the others were staring at the baby in his arms.  
“Means the portal won’t collapse in on itself. No hard feelings, Point Break,” he added, patting Thor’s upper arm. “You’ve got a mean swing.”  
He walked toward Fury’s platform. “Also, it means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Loki wants.”  
Reaching the platform, he raised a hand out towards the crew, as if he were captain. “Raise the mid-mast! Ship the top sails!”  
Peter giggled in his arms.  
“That man is playing Galaga!” Tony added, pointing to a crew member. “He thought we wouldn’t notice.” He paused, looking around at Fury’s setup. “...But we did.”  
He covered one eye with his free hand, looking around. “How does Fury do this?”  
Hill gave him an exasperated look. “He turns.”  
Tony looked around at the monitors, slipping a small device out of his pocket with his free hand and sticking it under a monitor, saying, “That sounds exhausting.”  
He turned back to the other Avengers, his free hand moving to the teddy bear, making the bear cuddle Peter, who squealed with delight.  
“The rest of the raw materials Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kickstart the Cube.”  
“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?”  
“Last night,” Tony said, looking around the room, bouncing Peter. “The packet, Selvig’s notes, the Extraction Theory papers- am I the only one who did the reading?”  
He looked around to the other Avengers, looking for a raised hand or some indication that he was not the only one to do his homework.  
“I’m sorry, can we change the subject for a moment?” Natasha asked.  
“Yeah, I’m with her,” Rogers agreed. “Is that a baby?”  
Tony pretended to check. “No, no, this is a teddy bear,” he said, holding up the stuffed animal. Peter screeched angrily.  
“You know what I meant,” Rogers snapped.  
Tony looked down again. “Well, look at that. It _does_ appear to be a very young human. Infant, baby, take your pick.”  
“When did you get a baby?” Natasha asked.  
“Uh, none of your business,” Tony replied.  
“Who would give you a baby?” Rogers asked.  
“Also none of your business. And for the record, the process to adopt is long and hard for a reason. I have a baby, he’s my son, he’s mine. End of discussion. Moving on.”  
Rogers glared at him. “Fine. Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”  
“He’s got to heat the Cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier,” Bruce explained, tapping his hand with a ballpoint pen.  
“Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect,” Tony interjected.  
“Well, if he could do _that_ , he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet,” Bruce reminded him.  
“Finally,” Tony said in a relieved voice, walking around towards Banner, “someone who speaks English.”  
“Is that what just happened?” Steve asked Natasha as Tony moved to offer his free hand to Bruce to shake.  
“It’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner,” Tony said. “Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I’m also a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster. But, as tempting as it would be, not in front of the baby.”  
Bruce nodded. “Thanks. And no worries.” He smiled at Peter, waving at the child, who squealed at him happily and reached for him.  
“You can hold him,” Tony said, offering the child to Bruce, who took him.  
“Aren’t you a friendly little squirt?” Bruce asked.  
Fury walked in. “Banner is here to track the Cube. I was hoping you might join him,” he added to Tony, who nodded in agreement.  
“Let’s start with that stick of his,” Rogers said, looking around the table. “It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”  
“I don’t know about that,” Fury said in a cautious voice, waving to Peter who was staring at him with rapt attention. “But it _is_ powered by the Cube, and I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the brightest men I know into his own personal flying monkeys.”  
“Aah?” Peter cooed, swinging around in Bruce’s arms to look at Tony.  
“Very good, Peter,” Tony praised his son as Thor looked at Fury, then at the rest of the group, his expression confused. “Monkeys?” The god asked, his eyes flicking to Tony and Bruce. “I do not understand.”  
“I do,” Rogers interjected quickly.  
Behind him, Tony rolled his eyes and worked to stifle an exasperated noise.  
“I understood that reference.”  
Peter immediately made an annoyed huffing noise, and Tony had to stifle a laugh behind his hand.  
He loved this kid.  
“Shall we play, Doctor?” He suggested, gesturing to the door behind him.  
“This way,” Bruce said, nodding and walking towards it while Peter giggled happily in Bruce’s arms.  
“Peter,” Fury called.  
Tony and Bruce paused, looking back at Fury.  
“Your dad is a fucking nightmare.”  
As soon as Fury had said “fucking”, Peter had burst into delighted giggles and clapped his hands eagerly at Fury.  
Rogers and Natasha were giving Fury disapproving looks, but Tony was delighted.  
“I found out by mistake that he loves listening to me curse. Tried it with Hill, too, but she didn’t seem to appeal to him in the same way.”  
“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Tony smiled. “Do it again.”  
“Peter, you’re the cutest fucking baby I’ve ever seen in my damn life.”  
Peter was positively screeching with mirth. Tony tried and failed to stifle his amusement. “You are the best baby,” he told his son, wiping away a tear from his eye. “Oh, I might have to start doing Christmas cards, just so I have a reason to write all the cute things you do down in a letter and mail it to people.”  
“I want those Christmas cards,” Fury told him.  
“You’re on the list,” Tony agreed. “Now, Bruce and I better get going. I need to make a superbaby-proof playpen.”  
“Shouldn’t you be working on the Tesseract?” Rogers demanded.  
“Baby first, Tesseract later,” Tony replied, giving Rogers a cold smile. “Something you learn when you become a father is that your child comes first.” He thought back, and a part of him felt Howard’s ghost looming over him, glaring at him. “Nothing ever comes before your kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So, just in case it wasn't clear: 1. Like in the canon, it is believed that Peter's biological parents are traitors. They left the country and are now presumed dead (and in this fic, likely are dead, because I don't feel like adding any angst where total strangers return and try to seperate our boy from his dad). 2. There was an accident near (but not at) Osborn Industries, where the radioactive spider was. Uncle Ben died in the accident. May was severely injured and unfortunately did not survive. After the accident, Baby Peter was bitten by the spider and gained his powers, although they'll be revealed slowly. Because he had no other living family, Baby Peter was put in the foster care system and adopted by Tony Stark. I didn;t do more with the adoption process because, 1. I am unfamiliar and 2. I didn't want to upset anyone getting it wrong. I probably still got things wrong but let's ignore those. This is a fluff fic, not everything needs to be perfect as long as it's cute.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a review if you would like to see more.


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